Death by Simulation (or, what the hell has Macca been doing for the last two weeks)

It works. I know it works. I see it working. It's right bloody there .. Working. Look at it! Oh, okay, you don't trust what you see ? Well, what if I show you this graph .. See, it's working ? No, not good enough ? What about if I change the conditions of the experiment ? voila ? Look, see, still working!

Still don't believe me, hey ? Well, what do you need me to do to show you this is working ?

A simulation ?

What the bloody hell do you need that for?

Here it is, in the real world, working, and pretty bloody well if I do say so myself. You can see it for yourself, right here. Why then do you need a simulation. Why do you need me to construct some artificial world in a computer program, model the dynamics of the system, and plot loads of data saying what you can see with your own two eyes, right here in the real world .. That it works!

No, I don't have anything against simulations .. They are really quite good at showing how something should work, particularly when it doesn't. But look, this does work !

Yes yes. I know everyone has a simulation result. I know all this .. But the thing is, simulations are really really hard! They take forever to get right, and if they spit out things different to what actually happens, you have to try and come up with some damn reason for why! I don't know ... It's a simulation! That's why it's different. Everyone knows simulations have got buckley's hope of truly reflecting the real world, because the real world is really really complicated, and a simulation is just a human-built program.

But okay, I'll give you your damn simulation. I'll fill in that blank space in section 3 with mindless crap about what I think will happen in the real-world, which I ALREADY KNOW, just to make you feel comfortable. I'll just have you know, this will cost me time .. Lots of time, because everyone who has ever done a simulation knows they never bloody work first time, or the second time... In fact, you'd be hard pressed to get them to work properly at all. Basically, lots of pain and suffering, for very little value at all.

.. But I'll give you your simulation oh great research Gods! I'll do what you ask if it will get you off my back for a few months. But I'll just have you know, this research lackey ain't happy. I'll be up till 5am on a Friday night doing this .. And then I'll be cranky. Stupid simulations!

Before I start, take one more look at it... See

... It F$^king WORKS!