Friday, June 02, 2006

Refused a schooner - coz it ain't a pint

Perhaps I'm just an idiot, or not the beer lover I thought I was. I'll let you be the judge.

After enjoying a pint of Kilkenny with some work friends at PJ O'reilley's last night (on dodgy Irish pubs, Canberra definitely holds it's own), I decided one more was definitely in order. Of course, to ensure a second beer is socially acceptable, it is essential to rope at least one other person into having another beer as well (commonly referred to as the wingman). Thankfully, a fellow PhD student Phil, stepped up to the plate (as always), and before too long, we were both at the bar once more.

Having driven to the pub, I decided another pint was probably pushing the limit, so instead opted for the safer schooner option (despite living in Canberra for over a year now, I still find this word difficult to accept). Being a cold and wet Canberra evening, the Kilkenny option was again looking very attractive. The first one certainly went down awfully well (and awfully fast), so it was the obvious choice - accept for one small issue.

"A schooner of Kilkenny?", I thought to myself, "it just doesn't sound right!"

After a little more thought, I decided I would ignore this concern, and just order it. I stepped up to the rather crowded bar and waited patiently for the barman's attention.

"What are you after?", the barman asked, rather abruptly.

"A schooner of Kilkenny thanks mate".

As I said these words, I felt a sudden tension in the air as eyes focused squarely on me. I awkwardly leaned against the bar, attempting to look cool and comfortable in my request, and kept my gaze fixated on the barman.

"A schooner of Kilkenny?", the barman inquired, "don't you mean a pint."

I stood and thought for a moment. Clearly the barman was giving me an escape route. I could just say yes, and walk away unscathed, while laughing at the ridiculousness of my mistake.

I gave it another second of thought before replying "No, just a schooner thanks". I had made my decision, I was going to defy common sense, etiquette, logic and all accepted social standards - I wanted a schooner dammit!

I stared at the barman, watching him as he processed my clearly confrontational request.

"Well...", he paused for a second. "Sorry mate, but we only pour pints of Kilkenny here."

I tried to maintain my expressionless poker face. I was actually being refused a Kilkenny because of my choice of glass - this is ridiculous. I stood silent for a number of seconds.

"So, it's a pint of Kilkenny then?", the barman prompted, sounding very pleased with the stance he had taken.

I certainly didn't want to continue making a scene, particularly given the barman clearly had the support of the other punters around me, but there was no way I was giving him the satisfaction of victory.

"No - no pint - if I can't have a schooner of Kilkenny, then make it a schooner of Carlton".

Perhaps no great victory for me either, but at least I stood my ground on the schooner issue, even if I had to compromise on my beer of choice. I walked back to my table with schooner of Carlton proudly in hand. I drank it quietly, all the while eyeing off the barman from afar, hoping he could see me enjoying my schooner.


Anonymous Mick. said...

what's wrong with asking for (and pouring) a half pint? I think that's a perfectly respectable thing to order, and a perfectly respectable thing to pour. What sort of dickhead won't pour a half?

6/03/2006 03:11:00 PM

Blogger macca said...

I hear you Mick !

6/03/2006 06:09:00 PM

Blogger russ said...

And inconsistent. I mean, if he is so finnicky about serving Kilkenny in a pint glass, why doesn't he insist on serving Calrton in a pot?

6/04/2006 08:28:00 PM

Anonymous Rob M said...

What a wanker...

It rates up there with the performance they put on at the Belgian Beer Cafe when they serve you a drink. It may be great theatre, but the beer tastes pretty much the same. If they're worried about having a cold glass, that's what the fridge is for:)

6/06/2006 12:56:00 AM


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