Instant Evil (or coffee rant part II)

Ok, so the flood gates have opened. As Aff mentioned in a comment posted on my previous post, it is something of a miracle that it has taken me this long to blog about the topic. While last post, I focused on the incompetence of some barristers to provide what I order, today I bring to attention the work place coffee machine. I am well aware that not all workplaces have one, and so any complaint about such a luxury item should be put in perspective - however, there comes a point when the coffee machine is so uselessly unable to provide good coffee, that you question whether it is of any worth whatsoever.

My research school (RSISE) used to have a good machine. Sure, it made a lot of noise, and constantly asked you to do things for it (such as fill it with water, add more coffee beans, fetch it the newspaper etc), but it made damn good coffee. After two years of heavy use, it finally broke down. It was sent away to be fixed, only to return 3 weeks later and provide a week's worth of coffee before breaking down again. After repeating this cycle a third time, the powers that be finally decided a new coffee machine was in order.

It is at this point that i think things went horribly wrong. I am not sure who was on the committee that convened to choose our new coffee machine, but I have a sneaking suspicion it consisted mainly of people who prefer an Earl Gray over a latte`. I say this because when the new machine arrived three weeks later, an email was sent around describing this fantastic new machine, that didn't quite tell the full story.

They must have thought they were onto a winner. The new machine was capable of making all your favourite varieties of coffee at the push of a button (unlike the previous one, which sometimes required some additional attention) - and best of all, this new machine was a lot easier to maintain because it had "very few moving parts". From an engineering perspective, they obviously believed they had made the perfect choice. What they failed to mention, however, was the fact that this miraculous reduction in moving parts was primarily the result of the complete removal of the humble coffee bean grinder! Instead, a large compartment inside the machine is set aside for the storage of:

- wait for it -

instant coffee!

Now, let me just say, I have no issue with people drinking instant coffee. I myself was brought up on Nescafe's finest, and understand it's convenience, and even people's preference for it over real coffee - but instant coffee drinkers, I ask you this - do you feel that making instant coffee is so time consuming and complicated that it requires a $1500 machine to make it for you ? Sure, this machine offers you some standard choices like cappucinos and flat whites, but again I ask - would you go up to one of those machines you find on train station platforms, or in service stations, and actually purchase one of these (because this is the same sort of machine) ?

To put this in real terms for me - in the days of the old coffee machine, I purchased about 4 coffees a week from the local cafe` (4x$3 = $12), even though I drink about 4 cups a day. With this new monstrosity in place, I now purchase around 12 coffees a week (12x $3) = $36. Of course, the middle ground (no pun intended) would be for me to bring my own coffee supplies into uni, which I do intend to do. This, however, does not rectify some bloody stupid, non-consultive decision making.

Now - time for another coffee I think - where's my wallet.