aye aye captain!

It is often said that Italy is the centre of style and fashion. In fact, if there was one repeatedly given piece of advice I can remember before coming here, it was get ready to feel very under dressed. With this message well and truly engraved in my mind, I rid myself of almost half my tired, warn out wardrobe, in anticipation of a whole new world of fashion.

Now I'll admit, Italy does have style, and yes, fashion - but as Jeff from Lismore, a guy I met at the pub the other night pointed out to me, "yeah, there's a fair bit of fashion, but don't you think the blokes here look a bit puncy?"

He had a point. If Italy is where men's fashion is heading, then God help the humble, true blue, she'll be right, Aussie bloke. I can't say I could picture either Jeff, or myself, in a figure hugging, blue and white v-neck sailor shirt with tight 3/4 length jeans, designer mullet and "Thorpy" stubble.

As an observer, this look is quite fascinating, and can even start to rub off on you .. that is, until you go into a clothes store and try on something. The are few things more disturbing than seeing yourself in a horizontally striped, figure hugging, v-neck sailor shirt. Like a contour map of the Alpine National Park, the stripes provide an unforgiving portrayal of ones mid section. Thankfully, more conventional clothing does exist, and with some searching, I have discovered clothing more to my taste.

Who knows what I look like to the locals. Who knows what I will look like to Australia when I return. The problem with taste is that it changes unconsciously, and without objectivity. Having said this,the day I look in the shop window at a blue and white stripy v-neck sailor shirt, and think "that might just work", must surely be the day I book my ticket home.