"we're not astronauts, we're just asses"

I actually reported this story on the radio yesterday (Fuzzy logic), but thought it was worth a blog entry as well:

In the latest reality show on British Television's Channel 4, Space Cadets - Three British "space tourists" have succesfully completed a five day mission orbitting the Earth at an altitude of 100km. To quote from the website, the mission was thrilling, exciting, cutting edge, and best of all, it was totally bogus!

While this group of unsuspecting, ordinary members of the UK public thought they were orbiting the Earth, they were in fact flying around in a fully equiped shuttle simulator, and were very much grounded.

Before launch, these thrill seeking participants experienced two weeks of intensive astronaut training believing they were at a training facility, near Moscow, and labouring under the illusion that they were part of a real space mission, when in reality, they were at a disused military base in Suffolk, England.

To fuel the illusion, the Suffolk base was painstakingly decked out in Russian products, down to the very last plug socket, and their physical training was under the supervision of a genuine former KGB agent. Sound effects were created to simulate the incredible noise generated by blasting off from the earth. For further authenticity, Hydraulics and 'air biscuits' were used to pull, jolt, and vibrate the space craft violently around as these intrepid adventurers began their amazing journey to absolutely no where.

When the cadets looked out of the cockpit window, all they saw was a distant earth, thanks to meticulous computer generated visual effects.

And what about weightlessness I hear you ask ? Well, its amazing how convincing a little psuedo-physics explained by a bunch of guys in white lab coats can be. I'm tipping these participants weren't exactly rocket scientists :)

The space shuttle itself was designed and built from NASA blueprints by Hollywood visual effects specialists, Wonderworks, whose credits include The Day After Tomorrow and Apollo 13. And just like the real thing, the shuttle consists of three parts: a cockpit, a mid-deck where they sleep and eat, and a lab for experiments, and of course, its tiny.

After the space shutte landed, the contestants walked out only to be greeted by the shows host, and a cheering crowd of friends, family and actors.

Shocked and confused, the contestants stood in awe as the reality of the prank dawned on them.
One of the contestants Paul, when asked what was going through his head simply said:

“ah man, we're not astronauts, we're just asses”.