A new perspective for a new year

For probably the first time since arriving back from Italy, things are starting to feel a little 'normal'. It's hard to pin point why things are now starting to feel more normal. It could be the recent acquisition of some desperately needed furniture. It could be that both Aff and I are back at work with a routine somewhat resembling the one we had before leaving Canberra. It could be that we are able to share the cooking again (circumstances in Italy meant that Aff had to take on most of the cooking), or, it could be the very welcome return of our cat after nearly 12 months spent in Kerang. Probably a little of all these things I guess. However, I say things are "a little normal" quite deliberately. There is much of our lives thatis not yet as it was. Upon thinking about this over the last few days, I realise that we are at an interesting cross-roads, and with a great opportunity to examine the things that make us satsified, content and most importantly, happy.

It has been sometime since I last found myself in a situation where I had virtually no commitments. Prior to leaving Canberra last year for Italy, finding a night or weekend free was like discovering gold in a long forgotten river. It was very precious indeed. Once discovered, however, it had to be kept very quiet, or stoutly defended. This period was a strange mix of high satisfaction and deep felt tiredness and stress. I involved myself in a range of activities and groups, and explored different areas of interest I would not have thought to explore before coming to Canberra. Being involved in all these things brought me a great sense of self worth, which served as a great motivator, as did making new friends, and finding a sense of place and purpose here in Canberra. On the other hand, these noble pursuits also caused significant strain on myself, and my home life through the all consuming nature in which I often take things on. I was constantly filling gaps of time with things to do, and events, social or otherwise, to attend. Feeling self worth is obviously a very positive mind state to have. Feeling tired, strung out and resentful at the same time suggests the way I was going about things was probably not quite right.

And so here I am, 10 months later, with a rare opportunity to re-examine my priorities. A few things are different now. For one, this should be my last year as a PhD student, and so the Mt Everest like task of writing a thesis looms large. This alone is enough reason to slow things down in other aspects of my life. Secondly, I am married now, and as I wrote when in Italy, this has, somewhat surprisingly, re-jigged some of my priorities. Thirdly, a new appreciation for home (or at least, the realisation that its ok to do so). Seven roller coaster months in Italy, and two months of reflection since has brought about a new perspective on what makes me truly happy and content. Nothing more so, it seems, than sitting in my own backyard with a coffee, and the newspaper. This change of mindset is the most recently realised since arriving back in Canberra (unsurprisingly coinciding with finding a nice new place to live). I have always considered myself a bit of a home-body in denial, constantly trying to fight off this perceived reclusive, anti-social desire, or at least trying to justify time spent at home by filling the days around it with activities to balance the equation. This, I now realise, does not really work for me, and more importantly, is not really necessary.

This new perspective first came out during the house hunting phase. My usual determination to find a place "close to the action" was being strongly out weighed by the desire to find a place with lots of space, and a backyard worthy of sitting in (with coffee/beer and newspaper). The possibility of having a decent veggie patch was also secretly high on the assessment scale. The place we chose most certainly reflects the latter considerations than it does the former. After nearly four weeks living here, there are no regrets about our slightly more outer suburban existence.

While I have realised a desire for more "home time", I have also identified that my need to "get out of the house" does not simply stem from me wanting to fight my natural state. Quite the contrary in fact, which I am relieved to say. Upon thinking about the the motivations behind the things I do, I realise that I have a very strong desire to connect with people. I used to fear that if I gave into my natural desires, I would become a recluse, and not want to talk to anyone. This, I now know is not true at all, and in fact, if I allow myself the time to myself I need, I soon crave connectedness. I now realise that craving connectedness is a far healthier state than living in constant fear of its non-existence. It's not really rocket science, but it's always an eye-opener to examine the underlying motivators, and assumptions behind the things we choose to do with our lives.

With all this in mind, I am very much looking forward to what I hope will be a significantly more balanced, and ultimately more relaxed and measured approach to life in 2008. As for what I do with my spare time, not really sure, a couple of things I'm sure ... but then again, what's the rush?

I love a Dim Sim country

It has been a mystery to me for sometime, just how the Dim Sim made it's way into the mainstream Australian fish'n'chip menu. You may think this a little odd, but have you ever taken the time to consider just how, amongst all the fish, scallops and potato, this pork and cabbage filled dumpling managed to squeeze itself in. I have always thought that the dim Sim was introduced by the Chinese, perhaps during the gold rush era when they first came to our shores. You could imagine my surprise then, when I happened upon this Wikipedia article, which has completely reversed my thinking.

In summary, the Dim Sim is Australian. Wikipedia states that the Dim Sim was developed around 1945, in Melbourne, by Chinese chef William Wing Young for his restaurant "Wing Lee".

This, I must say, is big news to me. It turns out that Dim Sims in Australian Chinese restaurants are in fact unique to Australia. Of course, they are closely related to other dumpling dishes that originate from China, but the Dim Sim as we know and love, is our very own.

We may not have a bloody idea what's really in them, but at least we know there ours!

leaving and returning

It is always a bit of a strange feeling in the weeks before leaving a place you have spent a significant amount of time in. That is certainly how it feels at the moment. The "mixed feelings" cliche` seems to fit pretty well. I am as comfortable and familiar with my environment as I have been since arriving, which is not so surprising. On the other hand, my head is already half back in Australia, and ticking over the many tasks, challenges and choices that await Aff and I when we get back. I, of course, am trying to keep my mind in Italy as much as I can. I want to soak up as much of this fascinating place as possible. Since arriving, not a single day has gone by that I haven't looked around and just wondered how the hell my life managed to rock up here. Craziness! This daydreaming is usually interrupted abruptly by the sound of a scooter passing me within a couple of inches, forcing me to suddenly side step into three day old dog shit which, next to discovering 13th century gothic churches down dingy alleyways, is another common "experience" in Genova. Maybe not a particularly nice one, but all part of the experience nonetheless.

Of course, while trying to take these things in, the realities of going home are hard to ignore. Practical issues such as packing and sending things home, not to mention the million dollar/euro question of "where the hell are we gonna live ?", can quickly overwhelm. Inevitably Aff and I talk a lot about these issues in the evening, which always feels a bit strange and foreign after a day spent in such a different place as Genova. On the other hand, these same thoughts are a source of excitment as well. Aff and I are looking forward to coming home. Our existence in Italy has been an exciting one, but also a temporary one, and the desire to "get on with things" (whatever that means?) has grown over the course of our time here. In someways I see this as the most significant change in me over the course of my time here. I don't really know why. It could equally be attributed to being married. I suspect it's a little of both.

It's difficult to express these thoughts because there is always the risk of exagerating the importance, and significance of such experiences. In the end, we've spent 7 months in Italy, seen a lot of different things, met a lot of good people, eaten a lot of pizza, and drank a lot of vino ... not so different to home really! but it sure feels like it is.

Take a stroll from casa Aff'n'Chris

Casa Aff'n'Chris - our apartment is on the ground floor (the windows behind Aff are ours)

walking on our street, in the opposite direction to the last photo.



and so begins the descent (much better leaving home than coming back!)

still walking on our "street" (more like a stair case really), towards Via Garibaldi (at the bottom of the stairs)

and onto Via Garibaldi, and into Genova's "centro storico".


I never get sick of walking out our front door!

On the "Free love Freeway" ..... to Slough

Case, these pics are for you ... but first let me set the mood:

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Free love on the free love freeway, the
Love is free and the freeway's long, I got some
Hot love on the hot love highway, ain't
Going home 'cause my baby's gone (she's gone)
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-- David Brent
(and people say he's just a big pair of tits)

What's this all about ?

You know you're not at home when (I) ..

It's 11am at the Stazione Principe bus station.

I am standing at an espresso bar, having my second caffe` macchiato of the day.

A car pulls up to a screeching halt.

A large, tall and muscular security guard, complete with pistol and army crew cut, gets out.

The engine is still running.

He approaches the bar.

"Probably an espresso down-the-hatch kind of guy", I think.

He orders a glass of Champagne.

A sleeping mat, an omelette and The Streets

The title really says it all. With all my earthly belongings somewhere else, and Aff, somewhere else, I am left sitting on a sleeping mat, eating an omelette made up of what food is left, listening to The Streets. Sometimes that's all one needs.